During the discipleship portion of the CSMP a few summers ago, Pastor Andrew suggested that our whole team follow the same Bible Reading Plan—so since then, I’ve been reading through the Word according to the M’Cheyne two-year plan. There were days and many spurts where I wasn’t faithful, but it was SO weird last week when I flipped over my little plan folded into thirds and realized I had made it, a full two years!
Which got me thinking, what was I like two years ago? Have I changed at all?
Two years ago, I had just finished my junior year in college. A busy year in academics and the future (recruiting), but a year God challenged me to s u r r e n d e r as I said no to the plans for my life and signed-up for the CSMP instead. I began seeing the value of INVESTMENT as I wrapped up an awesome year with my life group (New Era), and was offered the opportunity to serve on TEAM Community, the leadership in our church. I was a terrible co-leader in my first lifegroup (Organic)—so consumed about my weaknesses and inadequacies that I wasn’t even praying for people (ie: I often forget that Sparky, Jenn, or Paula were in my LG that summer lol). All I could think about was why I had to lead worship when 90% of the room could sing better than I could, or what words I could say to leave the greatest impact in people’s lives—the only prayers I could conjure up were all about me.
There are so many things I learned and experienced in the last two years, but today I’m especially thankful for the specific ways I grew through serving on TEAM Community. The TEAM (unsurprisingly) is an acronym—Teaching, Equipping, Accountability, and Mentoring. I’m thankful because it is through TC that I was taught spiritual disciplines, equipped with the tools to make disciples, provided the accountability to uphold personal integrity, and mentored by people who also loved Jesus and were constantly looking for ways to live out the Great Commission.
Fast forward to this past weekend at the TC Summit—many of the older sisters who had invested in me were no longer there, and neither were many of my peers who walked right beside me through my journey of transformation. Instead, we welcomed in a fresh crop of eager newbies who were available and willing to lay down their lives for the mission. When we found out our leadership teams for the summer, I could not stop laughing at how funny God is. I had my share of insecurities and fears about not moving on to another stage of my life like 95% of my friends had, but God sovereignly placing the four of us together was a subtle reminder. A subtle reminder that those decisions of (hesitant) submission and obedience two years ago were not just for me, but also affecting the people around me too.
I never thought this could happen, but God has been using me. God used my time and availability, interests and passions, but He also used my mistakes and failures from the past. My relationship with my three co-leaders were built upon mistakes and failures in my life. The biggest area of sin in my life is what drew us together, and God took what used to be an area of shame and guilt in my life and made it an offering of praise as I confessed my need for cleansing and redemption. It was awesome understanding God had forgiven me and freed me, but what was AWESOMER was when I witnessed other people experience this as well (reproducibility). I NEVER thought anything good could come out of my sin, but God used "my greatest misery as my greatest ministry." Truly God is a REDEEMER.
I'm excited to be serving with these girls, not just because they are awesome girls that I love, but because I know we're all broken, super messed-up individuals that God can use for His glory. Here's to making more disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the HS--and teaching them to obey everything Jesus has commanded us (Matthew 28:19-20)!
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