Live Out Loud

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! - Psalm 139:23-24 As excited as I am to finally live out my calling as a college student affairs professional, I have to admit that I have been concerned about the pay involved with my career switch. Part of me knows that my dignity and worth are not defined by my salary, but the practical side of me wonders if I can make it with a reduced salary in a city with a higher cost of living. Last night as I confessed these concerns, God reminded me of a prayer I've lifted up continuously throughout this past year. A prayer inviting God to do whatever it takes for me to depend on Him, knowing how prone I am to live an independent and self-sufficient life. Even though I still have questions of how things will work out practically, I am assured that God's heart is not to hurt me or make me suffer, but to help me. Help me not to l

After having been immersed in small group ministry for many years in Ann Arbor, it would be an understatement to say that transitioning out was a significant change for me. Part of me felt a bit incomplete without the explicit responsibility of shepherding people, but I'm thankful that this past year allowed me to find my identity in Christ and not in my ministry. People have asked me if I miss leading, to which I respond, 'Sometimes.' I realized this past year that even without formal responsibilities or titles, I can do many of the things I did before (ie: investing in relationships, looking for ways to serve, etc). What I miss most though is the humble posture that ministry forces me to embrace. I have never felt so weak, helpless, and inadequate as I do when I am leading God's people--all of which help me to acknowledge my rightful place and need for God. With or without formal responsibilities, I hope I can remember how small, weak, and incomplete I am apart