Skip to main content

I don't ever want a new one

The first time I ever stepped into a church was in 10th grade. After the service (99% which I did not understand, and felt completely out of place about), my friend Patty went up to her youth pastor and asked, "Hey Pastor Steve, do you have any extra Bibles? My friend is new and doesn't have one." He went to his office to get one, but when he came back he said, "Sorry we don't have any more Bibles--but someone left their Bible behind and it's been sitting in the lost & found for months! Here, you can have it."

I didn't like the idea of receiving a second-hand Bible at first, so when I received a *new* leather-bound study-Bible (the two-tone smooth leather kind with the gold page edges), I immediately put this first Bible away. Over the years, I received several other Bibles which was honestly frustrating--I was so disappointed when I received a Bible from my LG as a baptism gift (c'mon how many Bibles did I really need at that time?)

I returned back to my first Bible two years ago when I started carrying my Bible everywhere. Bringing it was mandatory at first to missions training sessions, but later on I couldn't imagine trying to go anywhere without my Bible. When talking to a stranger on the Diag, another lifegroup member, or accountability partner, I just felt ill-equipped without a Bible available in my bag to guide me. Hebrews 4:12 says the word of God is sharper than any double-edged sword, and I really felt it--there was no other equipment I wanted when entering into unforeseeable situations.

In the four years I've been walking with Christ, there have been countless passages and verses I found particularly meaningful at specific parts of my life. The pages that are now filled with underlines, highlights, and comments remind me of some of those key lessons and points of my faith ("stones" according to the life story template PAndrew made us do lol). My compact paperback Bible is beginning to show signs of wear and tear, but I don't think I ever want a new one :P

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Delirious

delirious (adj): marked by uncontrollable excitement or emotion; ecstatic; filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy (1 peter 1:8); me I don't think I had a personal relationship with God until 2 weeks ago. There have been a lot of formative moments and experiences in the past 6 years of me considering the existence of a higher-being, 3 yrs of being a Christian, 1 year of living by faith, 6 months of serving on church leadership, 1 month of dire circumstances, each of which have been challenged and supported by specific instances in my life.* But it's only been 2 weeks of finding pure joy, satisfaction, and freedom in Christ (alone). Though it's been 6 years since I first stepped into a church building and 3 years since I accepted Christ, I was always afraid to admit that I didn't know what grace, freedom, repentance, or Jesus meant--in terms other than the ones I had heard or read--it was always a theory and never a reality in my own life. After years of doing chur

And just when you least expect it..

Today I went down to the food court with another intern and as I opened my box of sushi, I hesitated. Feeling as if there were too many eyes on me (I only ate with one other person -_-), I questioned whether I should pray before my meal, in fear of social rejection. After I prayed, she asked me if I was a Christian, and I awkwardly responded that I was. Then she said, "Finally! What a relief to know that there are other Christians!" WHAT THE.. I couldn't believe it. Here I was, sitting with a co-worker that I had simply exchanged cordial greetings with, now talking about God haha. Even though I was scared and honestly did NOT want to pray, God used a habitual thing like that to open up opportunities for me to invite her to small group and share my faith. Crazy how He works when you least expect it.

Honesty

If you're my friend, teammate, lifegroup member (or you have any context with me at all), I've probably hurt you. I've probably hurt you in the way I approached you, made you into an agenda, or seemed disinterested in our friendship at times when we weren't being "purposeful". I probably gave you the idea that I didn't value our time together unless we were doing something "productive"--and in all honesty, you were right--you read right through me, and knew exactly what I was thinking. Ever since experiencing God (personally) for the first time three weeks ago, I've seen how my skewed relationship with God has affected so many other parts of my life. Before, I saw having a relationship with God as a list of tasks--in my warped point of view and biases of being an already-too-task-minded person, if I wanted to know God, I needed to read the Bible, persevere in prayer, get involved in biblical community, and serve the church. If I did all these