Skip to main content

The first time I got glasses


I still remember the first time I went to the eye doctor. I had good eyes most of my life, and I remember in 9th grade how I really wanted glasses just because they looked cool. To my relief, my eye doctor told me that I could get glasses if I wanted (optional). After the scary wind-blowing machine spit out an appropriate dosage, he opened a drawer to assemble a funny looking frame with interchangeable lenses. He handed it to me to try on, and I still so clearly remember the moment I put them on the first time.

I was in complete shock and awe--I had no idea it was even POSSIBLE to see the world any clearer. I was so used to seeing in the (imperfect) way I had seen for my first sixteen years of life, that I was completely oblivious to the fact that there was an alternate way that was even better. It was MINDBLOWING, and since that point, I've never wanted to settle for my old way of living without glasses. I couldn't imagine going to class squinting to barely read the chalk on the board, or walking around school without the the ability to recognize faces of people waving to me. Once I experienced life with glasses, I couldn't live my life without them.
I had a similar experience during OCR my junior year. OCR (Operation Campus Reach) is an initiative at HMCC where many undergraduate students gather a week before the new school begins to reach out to the incoming freshmen. I remember how that time of training and immediate application left an indelible mark in my view of the university. I came into college to earn my degree, make some friends, and bounce but during OCR I began seeing the university in a COMPLETELY different way. I saw the same buildings and classes as my mission fields, my chances to represent Christ, and I couldn't imagine living my life any other way. It was crazy.

Somehow since that moment 2.5 years ago when I began understanding what it meant to follow Jesus daily, I started losing the confidence I had in my mission. I wish I could say ever since that point, I never looked back and could not imagine my life without fulfilling the mission God has given me. But truth is, many times I looked back, around, and ahead--thinking about my previously self-seeking life, about the people around me who are finding security in other things, and about the things ahead that sometimes seem so much easier if I was just in control. Lord I want to be fit for your kingdom--help me not to put my hand to the plow and look back, but to be ALL IN, fully committed to this journey of following after you..

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Delirious

delirious (adj): marked by uncontrollable excitement or emotion; ecstatic; filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy (1 peter 1:8); me I don't think I had a personal relationship with God until 2 weeks ago. There have been a lot of formative moments and experiences in the past 6 years of me considering the existence of a higher-being, 3 yrs of being a Christian, 1 year of living by faith, 6 months of serving on church leadership, 1 month of dire circumstances, each of which have been challenged and supported by specific instances in my life.* But it's only been 2 weeks of finding pure joy, satisfaction, and freedom in Christ (alone). Though it's been 6 years since I first stepped into a church building and 3 years since I accepted Christ, I was always afraid to admit that I didn't know what grace, freedom, repentance, or Jesus meant--in terms other than the ones I had heard or read--it was always a theory and never a reality in my own life. After years of doing chur
5 comments
Read more

And just when you least expect it..

Today I went down to the food court with another intern and as I opened my box of sushi, I hesitated. Feeling as if there were too many eyes on me (I only ate with one other person -_-), I questioned whether I should pray before my meal, in fear of social rejection. After I prayed, she asked me if I was a Christian, and I awkwardly responded that I was. Then she said, "Finally! What a relief to know that there are other Christians!" WHAT THE.. I couldn't believe it. Here I was, sitting with a co-worker that I had simply exchanged cordial greetings with, now talking about God haha. Even though I was scared and honestly did NOT want to pray, God used a habitual thing like that to open up opportunities for me to invite her to small group and share my faith. Crazy how He works when you least expect it.
5 comments
Read more

Honesty

If you're my friend, teammate, lifegroup member (or you have any context with me at all), I've probably hurt you. I've probably hurt you in the way I approached you, made you into an agenda, or seemed disinterested in our friendship at times when we weren't being "purposeful". I probably gave you the idea that I didn't value our time together unless we were doing something "productive"--and in all honesty, you were right--you read right through me, and knew exactly what I was thinking. Ever since experiencing God (personally) for the first time three weeks ago, I've seen how my skewed relationship with God has affected so many other parts of my life. Before, I saw having a relationship with God as a list of tasks--in my warped point of view and biases of being an already-too-task-minded person, if I wanted to know God, I needed to read the Bible, persevere in prayer, get involved in biblical community, and serve the church. If I did all these
2 comments
Read more