Bumps & Blessings

Yesterday I ran over a large bump while cycling and ended up falling off my bike (surprisingly for the first time). There were no serious injuries (just a scraped knee) but I was in quite a bit of pain for the rest of the day. I partially blame my low pain tolerance but also caught myself thinking about what I've been praying for recently.

I remember sharing with the OCR team two days ago how I know in theory that God loves those that are needy & poor in spirit--but how hard it is for me to actually believe it and live it out. I had asked God to help align my head to my heart in allowing me to joyfully and unashamedly be needy before Him.

Truth is, I spent most of my birthday trying to force a smile thru the gatherings and hide the misery I was enduring. I was unable to function as I normally would, but couldn't stand the thought of hinting at any sign of "weakness". A friend asked at dinner if I had cold sores, which I was so surprised she knew about; I hadn't told anyone but she had noticed from merely observing me at the dinner table. I was touched that she knew, even without me telling.

As I sat in my bed last night weeping at the pathetic pain of a scraped knee and cold sores, I couldn't help but think that this was a way that God was calling for me to break out of my self-sufficient lifestyle. There is nothing wrong with being needy. Being sick or unable is not a sign of weakness. God delights when we are weak and needy before Him.

It's a good thing God doesn't answer our prayers all the time.