I don't want to play the point guard

Don't you just hate it when you leave a meeting feeling unsettled or conflicted?

It's not like there was a blatant question that was intentionally not discussed, but lack of clarity or next steps is one of the most frustrating feelings to live with. You spewed out everything on your mind, but are not sure what to make of it all. It's scary when you're entrusted with the power to make decisions.

One thing I've been experiencing first-hand this month is that God is a God of peace.

There were a handful of decisions that I had to make regarding the summer, my future, and relationships but I had to fight the temptation to just "do what I want". The ball was in my court, but I wanted to deflect the responsibility. I couldn't bear the unresolved feeling of being torn and conflicted, so I finally started asking.

Jeremiah 29:13 says that if we seek God with all our hearts, we will find him. I told myself I wouldn't settle, wouldn't stop until I came to a peaceful resolve--and He didn't disappoint.

God gave me peace to move forward in confidence, and then started paving the way. He provided a way for me to participate in missions while being faithful to my job, miraculously coerced my family to support my decisions with flying colors, and moved the hearts of people to respond favorably. I had a moment of being utterly awe-struck yesterday as I started seeing all these things come together. I don't understand why I would ever opt to live with unsettled feelings, when there is a way to live in peace.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

Jehovah-Jireh. The Lord will provide.

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