7 He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Israel. 8 The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. 9 He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. 10 He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. 11 For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. 12 He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103: 7-12)
One way (I thought) God had transformed me was by giving me the security to no longer strive for pleasing people around me. I remember when I first came to college, I was so determined to become the well-liked social butterfly that I never was growing up that I put on a whole new facade--from Day 1 in Michigan, I put on a false personality that I thought would win over more friends than the mellow NY that I used to be. Truth is, that strategy worked! But after I started following Christ, I wanted to embrace who I really was, in the way God created me--and people noticed. I remember all throughout sophomore and junior year, a plethora of people who knew me from freshman year came up to me to ask if I was doing OK--it was evident that I was no longer the rambunctious NY that I used to be. Anyway, so I thought I was over it! I thought I was no longer living to please man!
Recently God revealed a deep area of sin in my life that dates years back. PTL for showing me the real root causes (seriously), but when I first came to this wonderful (no sarcasm intended) conclusion, I just could not stand the thought of sharing it with anyone else. I was just so afraid of how the people I revealed this to would perceive me (and other parties involved) differently. Here I am, thinking I'm secure and no longer seeking the approval of man, but in actuality it was SO evident that I feared man's judgment more than I feared God. Makes me wonder how much I actually understand of God's perfect love. Do I really understand that I am LOVED by the King of Kings??
Last night at the all-nighter prayer, I had the chance to confess this (in all its rawness) to a younger sister. I honestly couldn't gather that courage to confess to other accountability partners in my life, but I'm so thankful that God has used her to set the bar on what it means to be vulnerable, shameless, and naked--not only before God himself, but even before one another. God help me to experience healing and exemplify true forgiveness as I continue to strive for holiness..
One way (I thought) God had transformed me was by giving me the security to no longer strive for pleasing people around me. I remember when I first came to college, I was so determined to become the well-liked social butterfly that I never was growing up that I put on a whole new facade--from Day 1 in Michigan, I put on a false personality that I thought would win over more friends than the mellow NY that I used to be. Truth is, that strategy worked! But after I started following Christ, I wanted to embrace who I really was, in the way God created me--and people noticed. I remember all throughout sophomore and junior year, a plethora of people who knew me from freshman year came up to me to ask if I was doing OK--it was evident that I was no longer the rambunctious NY that I used to be. Anyway, so I thought I was over it! I thought I was no longer living to please man!
Recently God revealed a deep area of sin in my life that dates years back. PTL for showing me the real root causes (seriously), but when I first came to this wonderful (no sarcasm intended) conclusion, I just could not stand the thought of sharing it with anyone else. I was just so afraid of how the people I revealed this to would perceive me (and other parties involved) differently. Here I am, thinking I'm secure and no longer seeking the approval of man, but in actuality it was SO evident that I feared man's judgment more than I feared God. Makes me wonder how much I actually understand of God's perfect love. Do I really understand that I am LOVED by the King of Kings??
Last night at the all-nighter prayer, I had the chance to confess this (in all its rawness) to a younger sister. I honestly couldn't gather that courage to confess to other accountability partners in my life, but I'm so thankful that God has used her to set the bar on what it means to be vulnerable, shameless, and naked--not only before God himself, but even before one another. God help me to experience healing and exemplify true forgiveness as I continue to strive for holiness..
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