Skip to main content

I don't want to play the point guard

Don't you just hate it when you leave a meeting feeling unsettled or conflicted?

It's not like there was a blatant question that was intentionally not discussed, but lack of clarity or next steps is one of the most frustrating feelings to live with. You spewed out everything on your mind, but are not sure what to make of it all. It's scary when you're entrusted with the power to make decisions.


One thing I've been experiencing first-hand this month is that God is a God of peace.

There were a handful of decisions that I had to make regarding the summer, my future, and relationships but I had to fight the temptation to just "do what I want". The ball was in my court, but I wanted to deflect the responsibility. I couldn't bear the unresolved feeling of being torn and conflicted, so I finally started asking.

Jeremiah 29:13 says that if we seek God with all our hearts, we will find him. I told myself I wouldn't settle, wouldn't stop until I came to a peaceful resolve--and He didn't disappoint.

God gave me peace to move forward in confidence, and then started paving the way. He provided a way for me to participate in missions while being faithful to my job, miraculously coerced my family to support my decisions with flying colors, and moved the hearts of people to respond favorably. I had a moment of being utterly awe-struck yesterday as I started seeing all these things come together. I don't understand why I would ever opt to live with unsettled feelings, when there is a way to live in peace.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7
Jehovah-Jireh. The Lord will provide.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

And just when you least expect it..

Today I went down to the food court with another intern and as I opened my box of sushi, I hesitated. Feeling as if there were too many eyes on me (I only ate with one other person -_-), I questioned whether I should pray before my meal, in fear of social rejection. After I prayed, she asked me if I was a Christian, and I awkwardly responded that I was. Then she said, "Finally! What a relief to know that there are other Christians!" WHAT THE.. I couldn't believe it. Here I was, sitting with a co-worker that I had simply exchanged cordial greetings with, now talking about God haha. Even though I was scared and honestly did NOT want to pray, God used a habitual thing like that to open up opportunities for me to invite her to small group and share my faith. Crazy how He works when you least expect it.
5 comments
Read more

Delirious

delirious (adj): marked by uncontrollable excitement or emotion; ecstatic; filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy (1 peter 1:8); me I don't think I had a personal relationship with God until 2 weeks ago. There have been a lot of formative moments and experiences in the past 6 years of me considering the existence of a higher-being, 3 yrs of being a Christian, 1 year of living by faith, 6 months of serving on church leadership, 1 month of dire circumstances, each of which have been challenged and supported by specific instances in my life.* But it's only been 2 weeks of finding pure joy, satisfaction, and freedom in Christ (alone). Though it's been 6 years since I first stepped into a church building and 3 years since I accepted Christ, I was always afraid to admit that I didn't know what grace, freedom, repentance, or Jesus meant--in terms other than the ones I had heard or read--it was always a theory and never a reality in my own life. After years of doing chur
5 comments
Read more

Surrendering my career

"Whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." The concept of surrendering my career never made much sense to me because I've always known what I wanted to do, and was perfectly en route to achieving it. I thought I was better than everyone else for knowing what I wanted to do. In all frankness, I just thought I was awesome and gave myself credit for every accomplishment in my life. When God directly confronted me last year with how much I had been living for myself, I made all excuses to rationalize and justify myself. Somehow God changed my heart to be willing to let go of my perfect plan and insured that I would never find the type of security and identity that I found through a job title or company reputation. He took me through a whole year of rejections and dejected moments so that I would learn what it means to be satisfied with merely having a relationship with the God of the universe , not just praising Him or want
2 comments
Read more