Live Out Loud

I  have so much man pride, it's disgusting. As I think about my CSMP experience a year ago, I cannot forget the time I pushed myself through physical training to the point of tears just because I didn't want to feel inferior, refusing to go to the doctor (yet alone getting a primary care physician). I put up this tough exterior but I am so weak.  On the contrary, I have so much respect for some of my friends who have been tested and tried through so much hardship and injustice that they have developed a resilient spirit. Some of them are small and perhaps look weaker than I do, but they have such strong spirits. Spirits that don't trust in themselves but in One who is greater.  I hesitated with my future decision a lot because I was afraid of the unknown, the unfamiliar. As I step away from what is safe and secure, I hope I can develop a more resilient spirit. One that is willing to walk through the fire and still trust in my one and only source of life. 

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you GREAT and UNSEARCHABLE things you do not know." I have no idea when I wrote this down on the back of my journal, but yes. I am so blind, thick-headed, and non-reflective. Please reveal and help me to recognize.

What makes a killer resume, cover letter, or interview response? When you're able to extract skills from a previous experience (no matter how unrelated it seems), and transfer them over for the position you're applying for. This requires much reflection to go beyond the titles and employer names that validate our experience. It's not an easy process, but transferable skills are so key. What I've been realizing recently is that I've missed out on a lot of opportunities to develop transferable skills/lifelong principles from the six-ish years I've considered myself a believer. CSMP has been so good for me this year because I'm learning principles, more than the "right answers." One principle that has been on my mind the past two weeks: The 4G's. Everything in our lives happens for our good, our growth, and God's glory. Based off of Romans 8:28, PSeth shared this at the prayer summit as we began the new ministry year. Today I wa...

This year of LIFEgroup was hard. So ridiculously hard. It is by God's grace that we didn't give up. And if there's one thing I'm taking away from Core, it's that--the power in commitment and persevering, even when it's hard .  It was hard not only to keep the faith in the midst of our own lives, but hard to love one another. To forgive one another when we say things insensitively, to be honest with one another despite the risk of judgment, to give each other the benefit of the doubt at times when we're hurt.  It's hard to keep the faith in our trying moments of academic probation, unemployment, and family issues--but it's a whole 'nother level of investment to care for, maintain, and pour out our lives into relationships. Relationships that never even existed prior to being placed into the same LG--that takes faith. Core, thanks for sticking with your commitment to love and invest in one another.  Thanks for showing ME immen...

I've never been a fan of running. Part of me still wonders how anyone can run for fun, but I think there are a lot of life lessons that can be extracted in parallel to this dreadful discipline. This past weekend I ran the Aruna 5K  to raise money for an organization fighting to end sex slavery in India. The run was not easy, but I had a moment during the 3.1 mile journey that I will not forget.  While running with my group, one of the sisters in my group pointed out that I wasn't running properly. What do you MEAN I'm not running properly? Do YOU even know how to run? Who are YOU to tell ME about running? At the first sign of correction, I cringed, walled up, and shut down. But part of me wanted to know, so I asked.  She proceeded to tell me that I was running with too much pressure on my feet, when I should be distributing my weight through my arms. I was skeptical at first, but when I gave it a shot I realized--she was right. Here I am, running wit...

Back in January,  I felt a desire to participate in a missions project this summer, but wasn't sure how it would work out given my full-time job. At first I thought that the obvious "right" thing to do was to surrender my job and participate in missions but something didn't feel right.  Thinking it might be a good idea to pray before making such a decision, I began our church's One Desire Fast with this in-mind as one of my areas of focus. A couple days into the fast, I stumbled across a section of my employee handbook in which I learned about a Sabbatical Program where qualified employees could take an extended time-off to pursue personal passions. Some people have taken advantage of this benefit to fulfill their dreams of traveling the world or working for a non-profit organization, and I saw this as my God-given opportunity to apply for missions. Why CSMP?  I signed up for the Community Summer Missions Project because.. I missed the times in college whe...

I've been failing a lot of tests lately. #1: During spring break, my LIFEgroup took a road trip to TheMiddleOfNowhere, MI. Even though we intended to stick together through the three-hour road trip, I ended up implicitly pressuring the other drivers to drive faster than they felt comfortable going. The consequence? Two uneasy drivers and eventually a speeding ticket. Sadly I was more concerned about my car arriving at our destination efficiently more than keeping the group together. #2: During a missions meeting, ten of us were grouped together to recite memory verses. One person had such a hard time reciting Galatians 2:20 that so much of me wanted to take over and offer to just recite it on her behalf. While I was fuming with impatience, another teammate stepped in and patiently voiced that we wouldn't give up on her until she got it completely. I was so humbled and owned. #3: The night before Easter, my ministry team met at the Power Center to set up a display. Because...