Live Out Loud

I still remember the first time I went to the eye doctor. I had good eyes most of my life, and I remember in 9th grade how I really wanted glasses just because they looked cool. To my relief, my eye doctor told me that I could get glasses if I wanted (optional). After the scary wind-blowing machine spit out an appropriate dosage, he opened a drawer to assemble a funny looking frame with interchangeable lenses. He handed it to me to try on, and I still so clearly remember the moment I put them on the first time. I was in complete shock and awe--I had no idea it was even POSSIBLE to see the world any clearer. I was so used to seeing in the (imperfect) way I had seen for my first sixteen years of life, that I was completely oblivious to the fact that there was an alternate way that was even better. It was MINDBLOWING, and since that point, I've never wanted to settle for my old way of living without glasses. I couldn't imagine going to class squinting to barely read the chalk on t...

I have had one terrible habit since the 5th grade of biting my nails--it's been such a prevalent part of my life for SO long that I legitimately feel like I am in bondage to this habit (dramatic, I know). It's even sillier how I got "pulled in": My older brother started biting his nails a few years before I did, and I remember thinking how STUPID it was for him to be unable to stop. So one day, I put one nail in my mouth JUST to see what the big deal was--'what could be so great about biting nails? it must be pretty good for him to not be able to stop..' and VOILA since that day twelve years ago, I couldn't turn back. I got a taste, a seemingly harmless taste, and was hooked. I don't even know why I keep doing it, but whenever my hands are free (ie: I'm thinking really hard on an exam, writing a paper, not wanting to engage in a conversation)--there goes my hand in my mouth. It's so dumb and I don't understand why I do it. I've even won...

Straight up, acct is annoying. Like right now, I was set on going to bed after having finished the Bible study--until I got a reminder text from a friend about my commitment to reflect everyday. Without her persistent nagging and refusal to just let me off the hook, I would have mindlessly headed to bed. Even though I was annoyed at first, I knew deep inside that times like these when I don't want acct are the very times I need it the most. Thanks God for the people who persistently and patiently hunted me down, forced me to seek Your face, and deal with my sins rather than pushing them under the rug (or worse, pretend like they don't exist). I would have very easily given up following Jesus and headed down a destructive path if it hadn't been for people who made sure I was actually living out everything I claimed I wanted to. Humbled that acct now comes not only from older sisters, but from hybrids, peers, former lcgs, and younger sisters :)

Ever since the fall when I received a racketball racket as a gift, I've reserved Sunday nights to relax, get some exercise, and catch up with Jenny. I know I don't like to take Sabbaths, but in many ways these racketball dates have served as a wonderful time for me to unwind from the packed weekend. Racketball Sundays have been a fabulous leisurely activity, but the sport has also revealed things about my character. I had never played the sport before this year so Jenny, given her experience, defeats me 95% of the time. But out of the 95%, a handful of them are times when I was leading most of the game, but suddenly lost grip. I let her get one point, then begin freaking out and the domino effect of losing points begins. Discouraged, I often stop running completely and barely attempt to swing my racket. It's pathetic how much one lost point affects my whole game and I lose complete hope. Defeat is written all over my body, and it is game over, even with much room for catchi...

In some ways, this first year as a working adult has been synonymous to my freshman year in college. Amongst the many great things I experienced then, I have also made some major mistakes that I wish I could take back. I am hoping for the best that I've learned from those regrets, and that I will not let history repeat itself. I need wisdom and discernment right now.. (I don't know why that frying pan is there either)

Today was our last accessout of th year, which was so hard to believe. I feel like I've been brainstorming accessout ideas forever and frankly was super relieved to know I wouldn't have to come up with another fresh idea in a while. Tonight we partnered with Erica's lifegroup as she hosted an RA event at north quad--the purpose of the night was to engage in purposeful dialogue with diverse individuals from the community by sharing formative life experiences that have shaped our worldview. What a wordy and schmancy way (haha i am good at that) to say we simply wanted to talk and get to know other people at the university. It was great hearing about different experiences everyone had gone through, some more specific than others. Whenever I'm given the chance to share my life story, I wrestle with discerning how much would be appropriate given the circumstances. Of course keeping things hidden is never God's intention, but honoring people's time and being aware o...

Yesterday I was reading the story of a blind beggar who begs Jesus to have mercy on him (Luke 18:35-43). The crowd around him tells him to shut up, but the beggar insists and decides to shout even louder. Jesus heals the beggar to restore his sight, and everyone ends up praising God. All it took was for the blind man to ask Jesus to heal him, and VOILA that was it. Last night when I was praying with my lifegroup, one of the members was burdened for a non-believer in my lifegroup who has been present with us all throughout the year, but has been unresponsive to the gospel. He mentioned a passage God gave him, and how he feels like the god of this age (satan) has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel (2 Corinthians 4:5). Right before that time of prayer, I had met with my LCG (the non-believer) and when we were discussing the story of the blind beggar in Luke 18, she inquired why we don't see God working in our lives today. At first I sat t...