Whenever friends would ask about what kind of partner I'm looking for, I would recite a short list of non-negotiable's and a medium list of nice-to-have's.
I never minded sharing my non-negotiable's (shared values, spiritual maturity, someone who enjoys their work but doesn't find their worth in it), but I felt shy about my nice-to-have's or personal preferences. Who was I to be so picky or particular, especially if they weren't "important" enough to be deal-breakers?
Recent interactions have had me re-evaluating the weight of qualities that I had not thought much about before. For example, I never thought that I valued a common enjoyment of food, until I met someone who admitted he "eats to live" (vs. me, who clearly lives to eat).
Even though I had previously noted this as merely a preference, I realized I had unsaid expectations of how I envisioned my life and ministry. It would be a pity to not have someone share the joys of eating with me, but also the joys of cooking together and feeding others, which I often utilize as a key component of my service to others. In strange and surprising ways, I've come to legitimize my nice-to-have's as factors that deserve more weight and consideration in my search for a potential partner.
Friends have often encouraged me that God hears the whispers of our hearts.
I wasn't sure if I could really pray and ask for such things, when I'm not entitled to my prayers being answered the way I want them. It's been a long journey but the process of prayer has helped me to understand myself and God's heart more than anything else. I am slowly learning to enjoy the process and not just the outcome.
I never minded sharing my non-negotiable's (shared values, spiritual maturity, someone who enjoys their work but doesn't find their worth in it), but I felt shy about my nice-to-have's or personal preferences. Who was I to be so picky or particular, especially if they weren't "important" enough to be deal-breakers?
Recent interactions have had me re-evaluating the weight of qualities that I had not thought much about before. For example, I never thought that I valued a common enjoyment of food, until I met someone who admitted he "eats to live" (vs. me, who clearly lives to eat).
Even though I had previously noted this as merely a preference, I realized I had unsaid expectations of how I envisioned my life and ministry. It would be a pity to not have someone share the joys of eating with me, but also the joys of cooking together and feeding others, which I often utilize as a key component of my service to others. In strange and surprising ways, I've come to legitimize my nice-to-have's as factors that deserve more weight and consideration in my search for a potential partner.
Friends have often encouraged me that God hears the whispers of our hearts.
I wasn't sure if I could really pray and ask for such things, when I'm not entitled to my prayers being answered the way I want them. It's been a long journey but the process of prayer has helped me to understand myself and God's heart more than anything else. I am slowly learning to enjoy the process and not just the outcome.
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