The journey to living victorious(ly)

I haven't wanted to write updates in a long time. I didn't feel like I had anything "update-worthy" because I haven't had any big revelations that I was excited to share about.

I still feel this way even after our church-wide retreat last weekend, but am trying to fight every thought in me that thinks that I should only share when I have something glorious to rave about.

The past few months have been tough - often feeling joyless, dead-ended, and stuck. What I discovered during our retreat themed VICTORIOUS however, was that the reason for me feeling this way is because I've only been looking inwards.

Many questions have been on my mind lately, on how long I should be where I am in this season in my life. I had tried asking God for clarity in these questions, but felt like he wasn't answering. In the midst of asking and waiting, my humanly expectations crept in and mixed with my expectations from God. When I sat down to think through, 'What did God actually promise me?' I saw with clarity how God had never failed to deliver on any of His promises.

I don't have any answers to my questions still. What I know though is that letting my questions just run in my mind as questions will never do me any good. I need to direct my anxious thoughts to God's promises, to live in victory.

God what is my distinct purpose in this time?

Comments

And just when you least expect it..

Today I went down to the food court with another intern and as I opened my box of sushi, I hesitated. Feeling as if there were too many eyes on me (I only ate with one other person -_-), I questioned whether I should pray before my meal, in fear of social rejection. After I prayed, she asked me if I was a Christian, and I awkwardly responded that I was. Then she said, "Finally! What a relief to know that there are other Christians!" WHAT THE.. I couldn't believe it. Here I was, sitting with a co-worker that I had simply exchanged cordial greetings with, now talking about God haha. Even though I was scared and honestly did NOT want to pray, God used a habitual thing like that to open up opportunities for me to invite her to small group and share my faith. Crazy how He works when you least expect it.

Delirious

delirious (adj): marked by uncontrollable excitement or emotion; ecstatic; filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy (1 peter 1:8); me I don't think I had a personal relationship with God until 2 weeks ago. There have been a lot of formative moments and experiences in the past 6 years of me considering the existence of a higher-being, 3 yrs of being a Christian, 1 year of living by faith, 6 months of serving on church leadership, 1 month of dire circumstances, each of which have been challenged and supported by specific instances in my life.* But it's only been 2 weeks of finding pure joy, satisfaction, and freedom in Christ (alone). Though it's been 6 years since I first stepped into a church building and 3 years since I accepted Christ, I was always afraid to admit that I didn't know what grace, freedom, repentance, or Jesus meant--in terms other than the ones I had heard or read--it was always a theory and never a reality in my own life. After years of doing chur...

I love my car

I've been really enjoying my time driving this week. The week started off freaking out about the warning light to check my tire pressure (and fill my gas tank), but after I took care of that I think I just had a greater appreciation of my car. Even though driving 90 miles/day is never ideal, I've come to (on occasion)appreciate my long commutes. Throughout the past eight months, my commutes have been awesome times for me to memorize verses, catch-up with Hyeri, or actually pray for the people on my dinky prayer card. That little vehicle has served as a sanctuary for me and sometimes even with other people. I distinctly remember a time last year when I had an emergency breakdown session with a friend in her car. We only ended up there because both of our apartments were at-the-time occupied--but man that time venting and praying in a confined vehicle was sweet. Even though I had previously been very adamant about not owning a car (why pay the fixed costs of car insurance, variab...

Live Out Loud

Search This Blog