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Starting off 2013

As strange as it sounds for someone my age, I don't listen to much music. It's hard for me to focus on both the tune and the lyrics, so it usually takes me quite a long time to understand and begin appreciating songs for their written intention.

I was recently introduced to a song which strikingly embodies many of my feelings and fears entering into 2013:
I had a dream that I was captain of my soul
I was master of my fate, lost control, and then I sank
So I don't want to take the lead, 'cause I'm prone to make mistakes
All these folks who follow me, gon' end up in the wrong place
So let me just shadow you, let me trace your lines
Matter of fact, just take my pen, here, you create my rhymes
'Cause if I do this by myself, I'm scared that I'll succeed
And no longer trust in you, 'cause I only trust in me 
And see, that's how you end up headed to destruction
Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothing
You pulled my card, I'm bluffing, You know what's in my hand
Me, I just roll and trust you, You cause the dice to land
I'm in control of nothing, follow you at any cost
Some call it sovereign will, all I know is you the boss
Man, I'm so at ease, I'm so content
I'll play the background, like it's an instrument
I could play the background
I could play the background
Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead

Jesus, won't you take the lead in my life this year. I've made too many mistakes and have too many regrets trusting in my abilities, emotion, and desires. I thought I enjoyed leading, but it's so nice to trust and follow.

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