Live Out Loud

"I don't care if I'm right, I just want to understand."  One of my colleagues responded this way after we went back and forth clarifying the definition of a phrase/terminology. She didn't mean it this way but it left such a dagger in my heart.  So often, I get myself into heated and unrelenting conversations because I am insisting on my point. I have been really missing the mark by focusing on getting my message across. Seek to understand, not to be right. 

Every time my mom visits, I like to invite some close friends over for a meal. This has become a small tradition of sorts (and I often struggle with how to decide who to invite). 2015 - 2013 - 2011 (top to bottom) This year was the first time that the bulk of my friends who came were not Christian. And yet, my mom shared similar sentiments this time around as she has in years past--how sincere, genuine, and kind-hearted my friends are--and how happy (and approving) she is of the people I choose to surround myself with. While I was thrilled that my mom had a great time, it also made me wonder about what make us distinct as Christ-followers. More specifically, what makes me distinct? Have I lost my saltiness?

What do you look for when you travel? What is particularly intriguing to you across cultures? I discovered over lunch this week that one of my colleagues is fascinated by prisons. Yes, prisons. Her dream job is to become a prison ward some day. I have never ever heard that before from any of my friends, or anyone in my network. The conversation of course involved heavy topics such as how we feel about the death penalty, for which I had never given much thought. I left the lunch wanting to learn more, and was recommended a book - Dead Man Walking - as a starting point. I love my job and the people I work with, but finding my way through controversial conversation topics like this has been one of the most consistent challenges.

"There was a time when the church was very powerful--in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. Whenever the early Christians entered a town, the people in power became disturbed and immediately sought to convict the Christians for being "disturbers of the peace" and "outside agitators." But the Christians pressed on, in the conviction that they were "a colony of heaven," called to obey God rather than man." - Martin Luther King Jr.

What I often say: "I'm not good at this" What I really mean: 'I'm not comfortable doing it, so I won't' How much easier it is to just say "I can't" than to choose to do something that's a bit uncomfortable. Change and breakthrough will come through small decisions to obey. I want to overcome

A typical lunch (Zha jiang mian), costing about $3 Food here in Singapore is very affordable, never mind tasty. For lunch every day, my co-workers and I go to the food court at our school, which has a wide range of food options ranging from $2.50-$4 (USD). When I worked at Deloitte, it would be a treat for me to eat out for lunch. Here, because it is so affordable (and perhaps even cheaper to eat out than to pack lunch), I eat out every day.  My favorite part of my job so far has been going to lunch with my co-workers every day. /// We meet for church here at the mall. That sounds a bit strange, but there are quite a lot of spaces attached to malls here so it's actually quite common. Naturally after church, we go eat together at the food court at the mall. On Sunday after church I unexpectedly ran into my co-worker at the food court. Turns out his church also meets at the same mall on Sundays :)

#1: Being able to bless co-workers through Asian buns:  I woke up late for work, leaving no time to eat breakfast at home like I usually do. I started dreaming of the Asian buns I could eat at the bakery downstairs and simultaneously thinking about how I wanted to respond to co-workers when they would inevitable wish me a happy birthday. The idea of blessing others came to mind and I ended up bringing 15 buns to the office instead of 1. I'm not sure if this was the HS but I could tell this counter-cultural act left an impression on my co-workers. Hoping people come to see over time that it is the grace of God that allows me to be this way.. #2: Discovering a surprising loophole in the airline refund system: Back in April I bought airline tickets in advance to visit my brother in Seattle during Labor Day. Of course back then I thought I would for sure be in PHL and booked tickets that way. When I found out I was leaving the country, I called American Airlines to find a way to at...

Talking to co-workers in-person instead of sending an email or instant message Having lunch together every day instead of eating at my desk Commuting an hour to get to a church gathering

Singapore can feel pretty suburban, despite being a global city. Maybe it's just the area I work and live, but I find comfort in the suburban-ness  I should always bring a packet of tissues with me, since restaurants don't offer them as standard protocol Food and drinks are sweet by default. If you want things less sweet, make sure to ask for it (ie: "kopi o kosong" for black coffee) HMCC_SGP didn't feel much different than HMCC_AA, despite being a fraction of the size The people were a lot more open than I expected; I'm excited to get to know them! Despite my prior impression of Asian females, girls in our church here play sports! I'm especially excited to get to know some of the sisters who play basketball and/or rockclimb :) I'm really happy to be here. More than I ever felt 

Today I begin a new season of my life as a student affairs professional in Singapore. I've never been to Singapore but I hear it's quite an efficient and law-abiding city (both of which are strikingly fitting with my personality). I do have anxieties about starting from scratch in a city where I only know three people, but can't help but think that my year in Philadelphia prepared me for a move like this. A card I received last summer when I left AA I knew one person when I was moving to Philly, an old middle school friend whom I was happy to reconnect with. Deciding to leave Michigan for grad school was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, but one I knew I very much needed. Leaving behind everything I knew in a familiar place to start over seemed illogical, but I came to see my relationship with God in a new light through the challenges of being in a new city, investing in a new church, and surrounding myself with a new community. If there was one trut...

"Why do you complain to him that he answers none of man's words? For God does speak--now one way, now another--though man may not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men as they slumber in their beds, he may speak in their ears and terrify them with warnings, to turn man from wrongdoing and keep him from pride, to preserve his soul from the pit, his life from perishing by the sword." - Job 32:13-28

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! - Psalm 139:23-24 As excited as I am to finally live out my calling as a college student affairs professional, I have to admit that I have been concerned about the pay involved with my career switch. Part of me knows that my dignity and worth are not defined by my salary, but the practical side of me wonders if I can make it with a reduced salary in a city with a higher cost of living. Last night as I confessed these concerns, God reminded me of a prayer I've lifted up continuously throughout this past year. A prayer inviting God to do whatever it takes for me to depend on Him, knowing how prone I am to live an independent and self-sufficient life. Even though I still have questions of how things will work out practically, I am assured that God's heart is not to hurt me or make me suffer, but to help me. Help me not to l...

After having been immersed in small group ministry for many years in Ann Arbor, it would be an understatement to say that transitioning out was a significant change for me. Part of me felt a bit incomplete without the explicit responsibility of shepherding people, but I'm thankful that this past year allowed me to find my identity in Christ and not in my ministry. People have asked me if I miss leading, to which I respond, 'Sometimes.' I realized this past year that even without formal responsibilities or titles, I can do many of the things I did before (ie: investing in relationships, looking for ways to serve, etc). What I miss most though is the humble posture that ministry forces me to embrace. I have never felt so weak, helpless, and inadequate as I do when I am leading God's people--all of which help me to acknowledge my rightful place and need for God. With or without formal responsibilities, I hope I can remember how small, weak, and incomplete I am apart ...

Cathy and I first met when we were in business school together at UM. We had a few classes together but never had significant interaction until our post-college years. Surprised that both of us had decided to stay in Ann Arbor, we began building a relationship over the common bond that Jesus had somehow gripped our hearts to forego our earthly ambitions for an eternal mission. I was so honored to stand beside you as you tied the knot, and am praying for much fruit as you partner with Vic on this lifelong journey. Thanks for always making time for me and being down for random adventures like being my +1 at holiday parties :)

The point in life isn't to do things well, but to ask God, will you help me? A few months ago one of my teacher friends (Irene) told me a story about one of her students, whom she was helping with math homework. The student had a hard time with the math problems, and went to the bathroom often during their session. Irene eventually noticed that the student would go to the bathroom to solve the problem on a calculator, and come back to report the answer. She was so heartbroken that all the student wanted to do was have the right answer, when all she wanted to do was to help. I was so struck by this story because I think that's exactly what I do with God. He doesn't care so much if I have the right answer. All he wants to do is help.